Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
When did angry sex become our thing?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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