after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
