Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
