How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
