just come out here and I will go home with you...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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