ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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