I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Damn victory sex feels great
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
