Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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