Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
