how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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