I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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