I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
