2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
