I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
