I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
