I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
