In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize