is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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