Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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