I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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