What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
zippers are such a cool invention
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
