i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
