UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
