Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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