i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
