Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
