Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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