Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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