i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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