Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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