I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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