Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
