NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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