i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
