Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
