So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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