I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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