he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize