I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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