Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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