Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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