We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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