so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
