I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
COCAINE IS GR8
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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