Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
