Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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