I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
