Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
