Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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