how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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