It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
