can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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