Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i barfeds in our rink
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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