thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
