I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
